The Rise And Fall Of Falcon Records — AND RISE OF FM MUSIC!!!!
Sightings: The Return
Just because 'e's sober doesn't mean 'e's boring. The Camden network is largely retired, but our team of dedicated spotters 'as relocated south in line with the Long-'aired Lothario's southward migration. 'Ere we present confirmed sightings from the FM Music era. Approach at your own risk. 'E's friendly. Mostly.
Location: FM Music, Bargate Shopping Centre, Southampton
Date: 03/09/04
Time: 11:20am
Description: Si spotted behind the counter in animated conversation with a customer about the relative merits of Soundgarden versus Alice in Chains. The customer had only come in to buy a birthday card for his nan from the shop next door and had wandered in by accident. Forty-five minutes later he left with a carrier bag containing four CDs, a look of mild bewilderment, and what witnesses describe as "the expression of a man who has just been changed." Si was overheard telling him: "Come back next week, I'll 'ave something else for ya." He will return. They always return.
Location: The Joiners Arms pub, St Mary Street, Southampton
Date: 17/09/04
Time: 8:45pm
Description: Si located at the bar nursing what our spotter confirms was a pint of Stella — a far cry from the White Ace years — and deep in conversation with two members of a local band who had apparently been pestering 'im to stock their demo. Si was seen to hold the cassette up to the light, squint at it suspiciously, and then deliver what appeared to be a seven-minute verdict on their sonic direction that left both musicians looking simultaneously devastated and inspired. He then bought them both a pint. He charged them full price for the demo stocking. He also apparently told one of them his haircut was "fac'in criminal" and offered to lend him money for a proper one. The musician in question came into the shop the following Monday with a different haircut and reportedly a much better attitude.
Location: Outside Greggs, Above Bar Street, Southampton
Date: 29/10/04
Time: 1:15pm
Description: Si on his lunch break, consuming a sausage roll with what our spotter describes as "a level of commitment bordering on the spiritual." He was also on his mobile. The following was overheard from a distance of approximately four feet: "...yeah well tell 'er I can get it in by Thursday... no, not the twelve-inch, the fac'in CD single... yeah... WHHYYYY?... no, not you, someone just walked past me wearin' a Limp Bizkit T-shirt... yeah I know... fac'in tragic..." He finished the sausage roll, looked at the remaining crumbs in the bag for a moment, and ate those too. He then went back to work seven minutes before his lunch break was officially over. He is a professional.
Location: Southampton Central railway station
Date: 14/11/04
Time: 6:58pm
Description: Si on the platform for the London Waterloo service, carrying what appeared to be a Marks & Spencer bag and wearing a clean shirt. He was spotted by our London correspondent, who reports that on arrival at Waterloo, Si was met by a figure matching Marty's description — stocky, bearded, wearing a jacket that had seen better decades. The two men stood on the concourse. There was a brief, awkward moment. Then Marty punched Si on the arm, Si punched Marty back, and they walked off towards the Northern line together, apparently arguing about whether the Chilli Peppers' Californication was a sell-out or a masterpiece. Our correspondent chose not to follow. Some things are private.
Location: FM Music, Bargate Shopping Centre, Southampton
Date: 02/12/04
Time: 3:30pm
Description: A Trading Standards liaison officer — not confirmed as Andy but matching the general description of a humourless beige individual — entered FM Music and began browsing the racks in a manner our spotter describes as "aggressively casual." Si clocked 'im within approximately four seconds. The following eleven minutes consisted of Si methodically serving three other customers with extraordinary warmth and efficiency while maintaining a peripheral awareness of the liaison officer that can only be described as predatory. When the officer finally approached the counter and asked about the returns policy, Si looked 'im dead in the eye and said: "Full refund, receipt required, no questions asked. Anything else I can help you with?" The officer bought a Motörhead CD, almost certainly against his will, and left. Si was heard to emit the guttural laugh approximately thirty seconds after the door closed. It echoed around the Bargate for some time.
The warrior is back. And this time, 'e's got a receipt for everything.